


Being with You (sutao version)

by coconut_juice_00



Series: Being With You Universe [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:57:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3432143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconut_juice_00/pseuds/coconut_juice_00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You find love where you least expected it. Some may be in the form of a 30 year old man while some in a 12 year old boy. Whatever it may be, it doesn't matter. Love doesn't mind, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Final Chapter Part I

**Author's Note:**

> grammatical errors and typos ahead

Joonmyeon has everything in his life all planned out from the very beginning.

 

He grew up where people would always call him out and depend on him, telling him that he’s smart and so mature for his age and that one day he’s gonna be successful in life. He came from a rich and kind family, always putting the needs of others first before their own, which is why their family is well-known in their place.

 

Joonmyeon was always showered with compliments and praises from people around him which is probably why he’s afraid that one day people would look down on him if he ever made a big mistake. A big mistake that might be the reason of his downfall. He’s afraid that one day, the people who showers him with praises would look down at him in disgust and talk bad things behind his back.

 

So at the age of 15, he made a big list of what he’s gonna do in his life.

 

First off, he’s gonna graduate high school with honors, having a bunch of medals dangling on his neck heavily and a big certificate of leadership and a scholarship for that grand university at Seoul. After achieving that, it wasn’t a surprise that those people gave him a light pat on the back as they say their congratulations, even offering him the chance to marry either one of their daughters or their giver sons. But of course, Joonmyeon declines no matter how attractive their child is (even Yunho, his childhood friend, was being pushed to him even if the guy is already dating Jaejoong, another friend of his.)

 

Because in Joonmyeon’s list, he’s gonna marry at the peak of his career, meaning, after he got a decent job at some high company he’s dreaming.

 

“Joonmyeon, you’re still awake?” Hangeng, his roommate, shifts to his other side, eyes blinking rapidly in an attempt to look at the digital clock just beside his bed. “God, it’s 2 in the morning. Get some shut eye, will you?”

 

“Yeah, I will.” Joonmyeon yawns, scratching his cheek. “Soon after I finish this page.” And Hangeng would just grumble a response before going back to sleep, thinking that maybe Joonmyeon will soon follow a few minutes later.

 

He never did.

 

(Even though Joonmyeon didn’t sleep that night, he still got the top score out of all the students in the university. And by the end of hell week, also known as exam week, Hangeng is surprised to find him all draped on his bed snoring.)

 

Joonmyeon, being busy with all of his studies, finds love at the school library. At first, it was just because of the atmosphere of the old and dusty books and the things he will soon learn from them. But after a few days of spending his time there, he finds something that he didn’t expect.

 

“Excuse me. Can I sit here?” Joonmyeon nodded without taking his eyes of the book he’s reading, eyes dragging back and forth as he reads every word, every syllable and understands the whole sentence that he just read. And so the moment he finally looked up to see the person in front of him, he gawks unattractively at the sight.

 

He’s attractive. Like so attractive. The way those piercing eyes can make you melt and those calm and serene look that got you swooning as he reads the book. He mouths some words before taking a few notes at his little booklet, doing occasional nods after checking that what he wrote is correct.

 

“Is there something on my face?” The person says, still writing, looking up at him once he’s finished. And Joonmyeon just gapes like a fish as an answer because he finds it hard to talk to someone so beautiful and attractive like this person. “It’s rude to stare, you know.”

 

“I-uh…I—“Joonmyeon was cut off by a soft laugh, the volume only two of them can hear. If this guy is attractive just by looking at his serious expression, well you have to look at him when he’s laughing. God, Joonmyeon can’t describe it, but damn. Damn, this is so unfair. “I’m Joonmyeon!” He blurts, eyes widening in embarrassment once he realized what he just said. It was a good thing that this guy just waves him off and smiled, gently closing the book after slipping his pen inside the page he left.

 

“Hello, Joonmyeon.” The guy grins, reaching a hand out for a shake. “I’m Kris.”

 

It was expected that the two began to date after a few months of getting to know each other. Kris was really a cheesy person behind that intimidating look, surprising Joonmyeon with a room full of scented candles one night during their 100th day as a couple (Kris bribed Hangeng by letting him borrow his car for a week in exchange of this.) And what started out as an awkward greeting, which consists of nervous laughs (mostly on Joonmyeon’s part) and a bunch of corny pick-up lines to lighten the mood (initiated by Kris), eventually lead to small kisses here and there until Joonmyeon feels himself being laid down on his bed.

 

He feels exposed, bare for the whole world to see as he tenses at the giant’s thumb tracing his jaw. He’s nervous, yet excited at the same time as he feels his heart thump loudly against his chest making him giggle a bit.

 

“Is this your first time?” Kris whispers after planting a few open mouth kisses on his throat, his hands placed firmly on his hips. Joonmyeon gulps, nodding as a response. “I see.” Kris dips his head down to give him a chaste kiss on the lips, pulling away to look at him. “I want you to relax, Joonmyeon.” He whispers, voice husky.

 

And Joonmyeon does, even though it’s so fucking hard because it really hurts being penetrated by someone so big like Kris. But he eventually finds the whole intercourse enjoying, even letting out a few obscene moans here and there as Kris quickens his pace. It was good. Actually, good is a bit of an understatement considering Kris is a freaking god in bed, successfully making Joonmyeon squirm under his touches.

 

Kris made Joonmyeon feel special. He made him feel that even though people would someday look down on him, he’s gonna be all right because Kris would never do that. He knows that Kris would always be there behind his back, giving him words of encouragement and supports him in every decision he makes.

 

“I told you my apartment’s big enough for the both of us.” Kris grins lazily on Joonmyeon’s hair, letting his fingers trail teasingly on the younger’s chin. And Joonmyeon giggles hysterically, climbing on top of the elder before kissing him roughly for another round of heated sex.

 

Unfortunately, their relationship didn’t last because of their growing work schedules. During their entire relationship, Joonmyeon never has trouble with Kris because he understands how busy he is and vice versa. But because of that, Joonmyeon can’t help admit the fact they’ve grown apart, having no time to see each other.

 

It was too good to be true to find the idea of having a future with Kris, where he dreams of raising children and live at the suburbs there. It would have come true if it wasn’t for their common trait, which is being a workaholic. Meaning, no time for themselves and no more casual dates and movie nights where Joonmyeon spends the rest of the night trying not to get aroused by his hot boyfriend.

 

“I’m trying.” Kris had said in the verge of tears. Joonmyeon was already crying then. “I’m fucking trying to make this work!”

 

“Then stop.” Joonmyeon says, tears falling down his cheeks. “I don’t want to get hurt anymore.”

 

(A week after that, Kris went back to Canada, leaving Joonmyeon at their shared apartment with no traces that the giant ever lived there.)

 

Joonmyeon cries, sobs and wails because every break-up is hard to bear, especially after reminiscing the good times you and your other half shared through the years. He loves Kris. He loves him so much, having given every one of his firsts to the person he trusts the most. Now, Kris is just another part of a wonderful dream, something that he’ll never forget.

 

Finding it hard to move on in this apartment full of memories with Kris, Joonmyeon moved to Beijing, China, wanting to start fresh there; starting from removing his workaholic trait. He bears the saying, _you have to let go of good things to make way for better things_ in mind, replaying it over and over again as he walks at the busy streets of China with a big smile on his face.

 

That’s where he met Yixing.

 

Having found himself lost, yet again, he resorts to asking a person for directions after practicing some Chinese words in his head over and over. To his relief, the guy answered in Korean, having sensed his distress and struggle as he speaks their native tongue. Though the guy’s Korean is a bit broken, Joonmyeon’s satisfied by having someone understand him.

 

“Thank you, uh…”

 

“Yixing.” The Chinese dimple-cheeked male smiles at him, something that Joonmyeon finds cute by the way. “Zhang Yixing. You’re new here, right? Do you want me to give you a tour around the place?”

 

Joonmyeon waves his hand in dismissal, feeling embarrassed. “No, no, no. I can handle this myself.”

 

“So you want to get lost again, is that it?” Joonmyeon gulps hard, even more embarrassed than earlier. “I mean, it is very good to get lost in this city. It’s so beautiful.” Yixing grins, completely oblivious that what he said earlier that he meant as a joke is actually affecting the elder male greatly.

 

“You know what? I changed my mind.” Joonmyeon nervously laughed. “I’ll take you up on that offer to show me around.”

 

And that was the start of Joonmyeon’s budding romance with Yixing.

 

Yixing is really a sweet person and a true gentleman at heart, always putting Joonmyeon first before himself. He tends to smile a lot, something that makes Joonmyeon mirror the expression without him knowing, and is very kind to others, even helping an old woman cross the street before going back to their tour.

 

And it was partially Yixing’s fault why Joonmyeon can’t help but harbor a small crush on him, sometimes catching himself staring at the dimple-cheeked man most of the time only to look away, blushing, when he’s caught staring. Though unlike Kris who would tease him when he’s caught, Yixing would just smile, even giving him a small wave of recognition. That smile just really have to exist. Like seriously? It’s driving Joonmyeon insane!

 

“Would you like to uh…” Joonmyeon scratched the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed at what he’s about to do. Well, it’s already 5 months and their friendship escalated quickly into close friends, even giving Yixing a spare key on his apartment. But Joonmyeon’s determined to make it more so…here he is, stuttering like a freak. “Uh…”

 

Yixing tilts his head curiously, staring at Joonmyeon with those clear brown eyes that got his knees shaking. “Uh?”

 

“You know…” Joonmyeon makes these weird hand gestures. Yixing could only furrow his brows in confusion at the sight.

 

“I know?” He asks. “But I really don’t, Joonmyeon.”

 

Joonmyeon sighs, closing his eyes and mentally counts to three for a sudden boost of confidence. “Will you go out with me?” He asks, eyes snapping open that were filled with determination. “Please?”

 

Yixing raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding. “Okay?” He stood up, thumb motioning for the door. “Why? Is it stuffy in here which is why you wanna go out? Is your air-condition broken? We can always get a mecha—“

 

“No, Xing.” Joonmyeon sighs, giggling a few seconds about how clueless and oblivious this guy is. “I mean, like a date.” Yixing’s mouth formed an ‘o’ in understanding. “Like that, yeah.” And just like that, Joonmyeon reverted back to his old and shy self. “S-So you want to—“

 

“Okay.” Yixing grins. “But I’m paying.” And before Joonmyeon could protest, Yixing holds up a hand, waving in dismissal. “You’re a carrier, and it’s only common courtesy for a giver to pay for first dates.” He furrows his brows for a minute before smiling. “Though, I’d still pay even if you’re not a carrier.”

 

Joonmyeon swears he’s gonna explode like that Jalapeno on Plants vs Zombies.

 

They went steady after a few more dates (with Yixing always insisting on paying) and they got even closer than that when they were just friends. He then finds out from Yixing himself, that he’s an insecure person, always panicking when Joonmyeon shows up even 3 minutes late for the designated meeting time, and got family issues (mainly father.)

 

He sometimes finds it hard gaining Yixing’s trust on him, even resorting on asking if the younger really loves him or not because of the way he’s behaving. It frustrates him and yet, he doesn’t want to give up and continues on pressing until he can enter the high walls of Zhang Yixing.

 

“My giver Dad walked out on my carrier father and I when I was 5.” Yixing said, head resting on Joonmyeon’s lap. “I remember Baba crying, always calling Dad to come back home and never leave me…us…and that he loves him.” Joonmyeon caresses the younger’s soft locks, his heart softening at the way Yixing’s eyes began to turn glassy. “Baba was broken. So, so, so broken and I—“Yixing never got to finish that sentence because he began to cry, his arms covering his face. And Joonmyeon lets him, telling him that it’s okay to let it out.

 

“I’m not gonna leave you.” He whispers, caressing his lover’s face over and over until Yixing falls asleep. “I’m never gonna leave you.” He says, dipping his head down to plant a long kiss on his forehead before sitting up, resuming to caress the younger’s face.

 

After that, Yixing began to open up to Joonmyeon a little more. Until finally after 2 years, Yixing agreed to move out of his apartment and move in with Joonmyeon’s bigger one. Yixing is happy, even bragging to his married friends, Minseok and Lu Han, about how amazing Joonmyeon’s place is making the said male blush.

 

“About time you two shack up. Maybe I’ll make Minseok send you that string of unused condoms we had, you know, to christen the bedroom.” Lu Han teases, bumping his hips on Yixing’s, who only laughs because he can’t hit his best friend on the arm, afraid that he’ll hurt him. (Lu Han and Minseok just escaped from taking care of their twins so the elder is really sensitive and snaps easily.)

 

“Knowing Yixing, I think they’ll just do missionary.” Minseok laughs. And Lu Han laughs even louder upon hearing that as he lovingly hooks his arms around his husband’s neck.

 

Oh, if they only knew.

 

Despite his gentle nature, Yixing likes it rough during sex. He prefers manhandling Joonmyeon, always letting the man scream out a moan as he thrusts in and out wildly, showering his neck with love bites and open kisses. Though he doesn’t talk dirty, his actions alone was like a Dom in some bdsm film that Joonmyeon secretly watches during his free time at work. (Embarrassing, I know.)

 

“God, that feels good.” Joonmyeon pants, grinning from ear to ear after catching his breath, hands wrapped around Yixing, who’s also panting heavily. “One more.” He grins. And being the kind person Yixing is, he doesn’t hesitate to comply with his boyfriend’s needs.

 

It was smooth sailing from then. Well, until Kim Jongdae came along.

 

“Hey there, dear cousin.” A guy with outstanding cheekbones greets Minseok with a big smile, raising his hand for a high-five, which Minseok responds making a loud smack, before pulling the man in a big hug. “Miss you, bro. How are you and Lu Han?”

 

“You know,” Minseok shrugs. “Work, taking care of the twins, sex, stressful activities at the firm, more sex. The usual.” And Jongdae laughs giving him another hug, only to break when he they head Lu Han’s desperate calls for Minseok to help him with the food. “Oh yeah, this is Joonmyeon, a friend of ours.” As he said that, he pulls a confused Joonmyeon to his side, meeting eyes with a grinning Jongdae. “You two talk for a while.” Minseok then dashed towards the kitchen.

 

From that short moment of talking with Jongdae for the first time, he sensed that this guy is a complete opposite of him. Unlike him who plans his life ahead, Jongdae lives according to the flow of what’s gonna happen today rather than tomorrow. Life is a game, he says, if you don’t play it then game over.

 

Jongdae is loud and talkative and very, very proud of what he does even if what he does is wrong. That must be the reason why Joonmyeon acquired a little bit of dislike at the younger male.

 

“Baekhyun! My god, you sure do look sexy today, huh?” Jongdae flashes the said guy a flirtatious wink. And this Baekhyun guy would roll his eyes in distaste, yelling at the man a few moments later because Jongdae is apparently getting all ‘touchy feely’ to his husband, Kyungsoo.

 

(“Ow! I wasn’t flirting back!” Kyungsoo groans, arms shielding his head from Baekhyun’s hits. From then on, the Do couple only went to China just for the twins’ birthday, with Baekhyun wanting to steer clear from Jongdae and his lame attempts of snatching his Kyungsoo.

It was only at the end of the party that Joonmyeon learned from Minseok that Baekhyun is having another episode of mood swings, meaning, the guy’s pregnant.)

 

“You know, Joonie.” Joonmyeon furrowed his brows upon hearing the nickname. He hates people calling him that. Well, except Yixing, of course. “In every awesome person,” He points to himself, grinning. “There’s always this one person in the past that broke him.” After saying that, he takes a casual sip at the scotch he’s drinking, eyes staring at Minseok and Lu Han, who were laughing at something that Mrs. Lu had said.

 

Joonmyeon furrows his brows, clearly confused at what’s the connection. But after a few seconds, his eyes went wide in realization, putting two and two together. “But you two are—“

 

“God, I believe I drink too much which is why I’m beginning to find you attractive.” He smirks, placing the glass on the buffet table beside them. “Now to find someone to fuck.” He says making Joonmyeon frown. There goes his opinion at Jongdae being a decent person going downhill. “Oh, hello there.” Jongdae whistles, grinning from ear to ear while his eyes were staring at the person talking to Lu Han like a hawk.

 

It would have been okay to Joonmyeon, really. If the person that Jongdae’s got his eye on isn’t Yixing.

 

From then on, Joonmyeon views Jongdae like the way Baekhyun would, glaring daggers at the younger male for talking, touching or even thinking about his boyfriend. Of course, Yixing is all right with it, having no idea of what Jongdae’s goal is. But after Joonmyeon says what he has on his mind, Yixing sighs and agrees, determined to get Jongdae off his tail, not wanting to lead the younger male on.

 

“Look, Jongdae. I already have a boyfriend.” Yixing shrugs Jongdae’s hand off his shoulder and flashes a glare at him. Though it was clearly forced. “Your advances needs to stop here.”

 

But Joonmyeon knows, notices the way Yixing would stare at Jongdae as he plays with the twins, his grin so wide that it almost look like he can be a decent father to a child. It hurts, really. The way he knows that there’s a bit of attraction that Yixing feels at Jongdae. But even if it was a bit, Joonmyeon still hates it for even existing.

 

“Would you stop it, babe?” Yixing softly chuckles as he wraps his arms around the frowning Joonmyeon, hands gripping the edge of the countertop tight. “I don’t like Jongdae like that.” He hums, letting his nose ghost against his nape, going down to his neck. “I love you, Joonie.” He places a light kiss on the side of his neck, successfully making Joonmyeon giggle. “I love you so much~”

 

Life was supposed to be like this. Him and Yixing all cozy and lovey dovey before eventually settling down after a few years of dating. Maybe even persuading Yixing to come home with him at Seoul and start a family there. But no. It seems like fate had other plans for them.

 

It all started the time when Joonmyeon saw Kim Zitao in a different light.

 

“Hyung, how did this work?” Tao asks, head tilted cutely at the sight as he leans forward to catch the elder’s attention, his other hand waving his Appa’s phone. And Joonmyeon simply smiles, his cheeks turning pink at the sudden proximity.

 

And god, this is so wrong. So, so, so fucking wrong in so many levels. Is he blind or something? I mean, why of all people he would get attracted to be a freaking 12 year old who’s so innocent and doesn’t even have a freaking clue about everything in life?! Tao isn’t even passed that _you get cooties if you kiss someone_ stage!

 

And fuck, no. It keeps on getting worse and worse every fucking day much to Joonmyeon’s dismay. He even find Yixing’s smile unappealing anymore. He grimaces, letting his head hit the cold gray wall of his office cubicle. What the fuck is going on with him?!

 

It was then when he felt his heart skip a beat when Tao kisses him on the cheek before leaving their house to go meet Minseok at the car that he realizes that he’s in deep trouble. Seems like Cupid got the arrow wrong. Or Cupid’s just playing games because he’s too bored in life.

 

He thought it was okay and that everything would go back to the way it was before, thinking that this was just a confusing stage that every adults face once in their life. But the moment Yixing break things off with him citing Joonmyeon’s growing feelings to the young boy as the reason, Joonmyeon got the biggest wake-up call in his life.

 

“Where are you going?” Joonmyeon asks, eyes wide in panic when he saw the younger male stuffing his duffel bag with his clothes, not even bothering to fold them. When Yixing didn’t answer, Joonmyeon stood up, panic getting clear and visible. “Yixing?”

 

Joonmyeon thought that the younger’s just upset with the whole break-up thing, with Joonmyeon shouting at Yixing that he’s the one who broke up with him not the other way around out of anger. But it was all just a joke, right? They’re still good… right?

 

The whole time Yixing didn’t say a word and continues packing, ignoring Joonmyeon’s pleas and cries until he left the flat, not even looking back. And Joonmyeon sobs loudly, leaning his back against the closed door, the image of Yixing leaving kept on replaying over and over on his mind.

 

(Another one of the reason why Yixing is depressed as hell because he realized that he did the same thing that his giver father had done, which is walking out of their life. In his case, in Joonmyeon’s life.)

 

It was expected for Lu Han and Minseok to hate him, with Lu Han even wanting to hunt him down. He wanted to apologize but he can’t, finding it hard to. I mean, how can you face the parents of the person—the kid that you fell for? The kid is a freaking minor and what about him? He’s about to hit his big three-o!

 

So Joonmyeon went back. He went home to Seoul where he knows he’s safe from the criticism and judging stares that he knows he’ll get when Lu Han and he cross paths. It’s fine, he thinks. It’s fine because he knows Lu Han will treat him worse if he ever finds out about his infatuation with his little boy.

 

“I’m gonna be fine.” He whispers, his hands rubbing his arms nervously. “Like the saying goes, you have to let go of good things to make way for better things.” He said to himself, referring to the good life he left back at China to start new again back again at South Korea.

 

But is he really fine?

 


	2. Final Chapter Part II

Joonmyeon likes it here. No pressure. No expectations. No everything! It was just him, the books and the quiet atmosphere that envelopes the whole library.

 

After going home to visit his parents, he boldly told them that life of being a businessman working at some big firm got his head twist into knots so he decided that he wanted to try something new for a change. Although disappointment was evident at his father’s eyes, he quietly agreed with his wife, wishing his best on what’s gonna happen to his son’s life.

 

Before saying goodbye to go back to the city, Joonmyeon’s face fell when his mother made him promise that the next time he’ll visit is to announce that he’s either getting married or that he’s pregnant. And being the type of person he is, he agreed. He managed to hide that crestfallen look on his face as he bid his parents goodbye, having his past relationships flash in his mind. Well, past **failed** relationships that is.

 

“Joonmyeon?” Said guy craned his head and smiles in delight when he saw his childhood friend, Jung Yunho, approach him with a big wave of his hands. He hugged him upon reaching Joonmyeon before pulling away laughing. “Oh my god, it is you! When did you arrived?”

 

“Yesterday.” He answers, accidentally shifting his stare at the diapers that’s safely kept inside the shopping bag Yunho have on his arm. Yunho must have noticed where he’s looking making him chuckle. “So you and Jaejoong are?”

 

“Married, yeah we are. We got married 2 years ago.” Yunho bashfully says. “We’re on our third child, see?” As he said that, he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and shows a picture of Jaejoong carrying a small baby in his arms while Yunho is carrying 2 toddlers, the other older than the other. Joonmyeon grins in glee, having found that his childhood friends had already settled down as he listens to Yunho introduce his children, Yoochun, Junsu and baby Changmin. “They’re a handful, but it’s worth it. You should come and visit us sometimes. Jae misses you.”

 

Joonmyeon wants to, but he declines. Not that he doesn’t want to. In fact, he greatly misses his old life here back with his friends, but just the sight of Yunho and Jaejoong all happy and settled down with their children makes Joonmyeon green with envy. He wants that life. It’s on his list; getting married after reaching the peak of his career. But here he is, still single because Cupid loves to mess with his love life.

 

“Look, Joon. Love makes you crazy, which is why you just have to accept and embrace it. Look at me. I’m insane!” Yunho laughs, clapping his back before waving goodbye at Joonmyeon as he boards the bus.

 

Joonmyeon really wants to be crazy—insane with the idea of being in love with the person he’s destined with. But you see? Nothing works. After getting his heart broken by the break-up between Yixing and him (Lu Han is still convinced that Joonmyeon was the one who broke things off **(a/n: If you read the[Being with You (baeksoo version) short stories](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/753803/3/being-with-you-romance--mpreg-exo-xiuhan-baeksoo), you’ll understand)**  ) he fears that what’s gonna happen when he puts his heart out again will only lead him to another heart break.

 

Well, it’s only the beginning.

 

After 2 years of working at the library, with Joonmyeon putting his love life at the very end of his system and decided that he’ll never marry and just focuses on his work, he crossed paths again with a 16—year old Tao. And it feels too surreal, to have the feelings that what he thought were buried deep in the mountains of his bad memories, brought up to light just at the sight of the once little boy that he grew to love in a romantic sense.

 

He’s matured a bit, almost a bit taller than Joonmyeon and his jaw well-defined and body structure a bit muscular like Minseok. The physical resemblance is far, but the attitude is shouting Minseok all over. And Joonmyeon was surprised. So, so, so surprised and shocked because he can’t seem to process the fact that he’s here, in the same place, in the same country, breathing the same air as he is.

 

“How are you, hyung?” Tao asks, eyes twinkling in delight upon seeing his favorite hyung in the world that he haven’t seen in ages. He props his elbows on the counter and leans forward, eyes filled with curiosity at the sight of the books that surrounds Joonmyeon. “So you’re into books now, hyung?”

 

“Pretty much, yeah.” Joonmyeon grins, ignoring his accelerating heart. “Anyways, what are you doing here, Tao? Visiting your grandparents?”

 

“Oh, we live here now, hyung.” Tao smiles. “Appa bought a house near Grandpa and Grammy’s house. That way they can visit and spend time with us. What about you?” Joonmyeon’s eyes went wide in surprise when the kid jumps, using his hands on the counter as support and sits comfortably on top. “Why did you stop visiting us?”

 

_Because I fell in love with you._

 

“It’s complicated, Tao.” Joonmyeon says instead, lightly pushing the boy off the counter, making said boy pout and sighs. “Just go home. Your father is probably waiting for you at home.”

 

“Nah, Baba and Appa’s at work and Hunnie’s at some family friend’s house so I’m the only one left.” Tao waves his hand in dismissal. Joonmyeon furrows his brows upon hearing that. It seems that the kid still prefers to be alone, a trait that he inherits from Minseok. “So how about I accompany you at this boring library and catch up? Is that okay, hyung?”

 

And Joonmyeon really wants to say no and tell Tao to scram because he’s afraid that his presence will only make it hard to move on. But in this situation, Joonmyeon is too blind with the good feeling that’s beating wildly on his chest that he agreed, even ruffling the boy’s hair with full of adoration.

 

It’s really a bad idea. From the very start, it’s really a bad idea. The kid’s short visits transformed into hours, even waiting for the elder until he closes the library and hangs out at the park as Joonmyeon answers all the curious boy’s questions (a trait that he apparently inherited from Lu Han.) Tao would make it a habit to spend his Saturday nights (Lu Han and Minseok’s time together **(a/n: If you read the[Being with You (xiuhan version) short stories](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/773305/3/being-with-you-xiuhan-version-romance--mpreg-exo-xiuhan-baeksoo), you’ll understand) ** ) nuzzling his head on Joonmyeon’s lap as they watch some cartoons. 

 

The gesture—no—the kid’s presence is enough to make Joonmyeon lost his cool, feeling nervous at the choice of his words because it might make his romantic attraction at the kid became clearer than that when Tao was still an innocent 12 year old. And he knows it’s wrong. So, so, so wrong especially when he lets Tao cling on his arm when he lets Sehun meet him again; their last meeting was when Sehun was still 12 and they were in China. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s kid was with him, their fingers intertwined, and Joonmyeon guessed that the two are dating.

 

“You do know that Taozi’s a minor, right?” Sehun asked him when they were finally alone after Tao and Sehun’s boyfriend, Jongin, went to buy sodas for them.

 

“I know.” Joonmyeon says. “But I’m not—“

 

“But he thinks of you that way, hyung.” Sehun said, voice laced in seriousness that got the elder speechless. “You know that, right? You can see it, right?” When Joonmyeon didn’t respond, he sighs. “Don’t expect me to side with you when Baba finds out. But that doesn’t mean I’ll side with Baba, too.”

 

Sehun was right. The feelings he harbors for Tao is wrong in the eyes of everyone. But that time when it was just the two of them, idly sitting on Joonmyeon’s large apartment couch as they watch _How I met Your Mother_ reruns on the TV, he didn’t care. He didn’t care when Tao leans forward and tilts his head, eyes boring deep on Joonmyeon’s before closing the remaining gap between them. He didn’t care when Tao presses him against the couch, their lips moving in sync as he lets his tongue explore the younger’s mouth; even letting out a few soft sighs of satisfaction.

 

“I love you, hyung.” Tao whispers against his mouth before capturing the elder’s lower lip into a soft bite.

 

And Joonmyeon doesn’t really mind the consequences.

 

Dating Tao is probably the best mistake he’s ever done in his life.

 

Even though his appearance is mature and scary, Tao is actually a child at heart. He would jump around the elder’s bed when Joonmyeon doesn’t wake up on time and would whine when there’s something that he wants and Joonmyeon doesn’t give it to him. (Joonmyeon says no but after a few minutes, he obliges with a big sigh. Sometimes he hates himself for that. He really needs to learn how to say no.) The kid’s a big romantic at heart, kissing him in every chance he gets and makes him feel special in his own way.

 

“You look so pretty, hyung.” Tao chuckles as he plays around with Joonmyeon’s soft locks. (They were lounging at Joonmyeon’s bedroom, with the elder lying on Tao’s lap, face red as a beet as he tries not to look at the younger’s loving stare.)

 

They waited for Tao to turn 18 before engaging in sexual acts. He remembers the kid being a nervous wreck, having both excited and scared from what’s gonna happen tonight. Joonmyeon chuckles at the sight, having remembered that he can relate what the younger is feeling when he’s just about to do it for the first time.

 

“I want you to relax, Tao.” Joonmyeon whispers against the younger’s neck after planting a soft kiss between the junctions of his collarbone. Tao shivers upon feeling that, letting out a sigh when he felt Joonmyeon’s hand explore his smooth thighs.

 

The whole process is full of Tao asking if Joonmyeon feels good or if he’s doing it right, afraid that he might hurt the elder or it might turn him off. But unbeknownst to the younger, Joonmyeon takes pleasure in everything that Tao does, finding it cute how he squints his eyes in pure ecstasy when Joonmyeon bobs his head, mouth wrapped around Tao’s member in a fast pace.

 

“So good.” Joonmyeon moans, fingers gripping the sheets tight; watching Tao snap his hips in a rapid rate, hands on the elder’s thighs to keep them apart. “Just like that, Tao.” He mewls. “Just like that.”

 

It was a pleasurable night filled with promises and declaration of love, eyes filled with adoration and wonder as their bodies move against each other, obscene sounds making out of their mouths. It was amazing, Joonmyeon thinks after the whole intercourse. So, so amazing.

 

Their relationship went smoothly like that, going on occasional dates and sneaking in a few kisses here and there in public even going boldly by making out in front of a gagging Jongin and a giggling Sehun (Tao reasons it’s okay because he’s at a legal age now.) And Joonmyeon thought that everything is a dream. A wonderful, wonderful heaven-like dream.

 

But then, everything went downhill when Tao asked for his Baba and Appa’s blessing.

 

He doesn’t want to. He really doesn’t want to meet Tao’s parents, telling the younger that he’s not ready or that he’s busy and he really can’t. Eventually he gave in after seeing the younger’s glassy eyes and the look of sorrow on his face.

 

“Okay.” Joonmyeon sighs and flashes a warm smile as he caresses his young lover’s cheek. “I’ll go meet your parents this Sunday night, okay?” Tao responded with a happy grin and kisses Joonmyeon like there’s no tomorrow.

 

He really expected it, after that rough break-up between him and Yixing that Lu Han will hunt him down and decapitate him. But then it transformed in wanting to burn him alive after finding out he’s the one that his son is dating all along. (Lu Han is pissed because he can’t believe he’s giving love advices to his son just to date that fucking Joonmyeon.) Minseok, however, is clearly displeased and disappointed at the turn of events, but he still treats Joonmyeon as a friend nevertheless and acts like a good parent should do in these type of occasions obviously contradicting his husband’s behavior.

 

“I should punch you right now, Joonmyeon.” Minseok said through gritted teeth, ignoring the way Tao’s eyes went wide upon hearing that. Joonmyeon, however, nods upon hearing that and closes his eyes to prepare himself from the monstrous punch that he will receive from the elder. But to his surprise, he felt a soft clap on his shoulder instead. “But thank you.” He said. “Thank you for making my son happy.” He playfully ruffles Joonmyeon’s hair making him smile, a gesture that he faintly recognizes that Minseok would do to him every time they meet back at China. “I’ll talk to Lu Han for you. He’s just…” He sighs. “Please understand him.”

 

And Joonmyeon does.

  
Minseok managed to persuade Lu Han in accepting them (“I acknowledged their relationship, but that doesn’t mean I accept it. There’s a difference, Minseok!” Lu Han grumbles as Minseok chuckles softly before engulfing his husband in a tight embrace.) But it’s enough for Joonmyeon. In fact, he is very grateful for the elder to even acknowledge them instead of nothing.

 

Joonmyeon made it his life mission to make Lu Han accept him, to acknowledge not only Tao and his relationship, but also his existence. Because even though Lu Han is okay with him going in and out of the house, (mostly out because Lu Han kept on glaring at him when he’s inside) the elder treats him like he’s nothing but a speck of dust or worse, simply nothing at all. It’s like he’s invisible!

 

“Sorry about Baba.” Tao said to him one night as they cuddle on Joonmyeon’s bed. “He’ll come around.”

 

But he didn’t.

 

Even after that faithful day where he received a wedding invitation from Yixing via e-mail, well, Jongdae and Yixing’s wedding to be exact. His eyes went wide in surprise even though he’s still groggy because he just woke up. It was to be held at China. Just a simple and a private wedding, a few close friends and family members.

 

It was awkward but in the end, he did come, secretly of course because he doesn’t want to risk seeing Lu Han and that smug look of his. Though he didn’t see the ceremony, he was there at the reception. He smiled a bit at the sight of the newly-wed couple, with Yixing practically glowing in happiness as he playfully smears the cake’s pink icing on Jongdae’s cheek after cutting the cake. Jongdae cackles loudly, almost wanting to dump the whole cake on Yixing’s face if it wasn’t for Lu Han stopping him. He sighs. Ahh~ lucky them.

 

“Hey, there stranger.” Joonmyeon gasps, eyes wide in shock when he saw Yixing approach him at the dark balcony. “What are you doing out here? You should be inside. It’s cold here.”

 

“I-uh…” He scratches the back of his neck nervously, clearing his throat after. “Congratulations, by the way. You know.” He chuckles. “You and Jongdae finally tying the knot.”

 

Yixing smiles. That same smile that used to take Joonmyeon’s breath away. “Thank you.”

 

There was a long awkward silence, mostly on Joonmyeon’s part. Yixing doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he’s comfortable around the elder’s presence not like last time. “Anyways, where’s Jongdae?” He breaks the silence.

 

“Oh, he’s dancing with Minseok right…” Yixing cranes his neck and squints. “…there!” Pointing at a smiling Jongdae, whose arms were wrapped around Minseok’s neck, whose chuckling softly as he guides the younger carrier in the beat of the music. Joonmyeon hums at the sight, faintly remembering what Jongdae said to him one time.

 

“How about you?” Joonmyeon broke his stare at them and shifted it to Yixing. “Would you like to dance?” The elder chuckles as a response and lets Yixing guide him next to where Minseok and Jongdae are dancing.

 

And as they sway to beat of the music, Joonmyeon can’t help but reminisce about the good times Yixing and he had, like the time when it was just the two of them back at his apartment at China. Yixing was very fond of the classics and is a very good dancer so he often asks Joonmyeon to dance with him during silent nights. And then after that, they’d cuddle on the couch to catch their breaths. But now, things changed between them. Joonmyeon has Tao to cuddle on the couch while Yixing has Jongdae to dance with him during silent nights. Things had changed between them. This just proves they’re really not meant to be together.

 

“Why…?” Joonmyeon mumbles against the younger’s shoulder, feet almost colliding as they let their pace slow down a bit. “Why do you still care? After all the things I did that hurt you. Why?”

 

“Because I love you, Joonie.” Yixing grins down at him making Joonmyeon’s eyes widen a bit. “It might not be the same love we used to share, but that doesn’t mean I’ll drop my promise to you.” Yixing chuckles softly and wraps him in a tight embrace. “I’ll always love you, Joonmyeon. Thank you for being a part of my life.”

 

Joonmyeon never cries during wedding days. This was an exception, though.

 

After Tao graduated in college, he wasted no time and proposed at the elder; with one knee bended on the green grass and a ring held out to him. Joonmyeon gulps hard, eyes brimming with tears and said a choked sound of affirmation before engulfing the younger male in a deep kiss.

 

The wedding was a success with only a few people present. The whole time, Joonmyeon can’t contain his happiness, even boldly asking Lu Han to dance with him after Tao and he finished their first dance. Lu Han doesn’t comment any further and just let him, his face held no emotion during the whole time. Though it was like that, Joonmyeon still feels great. It’s better than nothing at all.

 

Joonmyeon spends most of his time getting his father-in-law’s attention and affection, always doing things and giving him gifts. Minseok’s fully pleased at what he’s doing, but Lu Han doesn’t even regard his efforts. He’s still mad, Joonmyeon thinks—no—he knows. He knows that Lu Han is still mad at everything that happened.

 

It was unfair, he thinks. Especially when his brother-in-law, Sehun, got pregnant. He remembers the way Lu Han’s eyes sparkle in delight when the Do couple announced that they’re gonna be grandparents. Baekhyun and Lu Han started jumping like teenagers while Kyungsoo and Minseok just chuckles, drinking an expensive bottle of scotch later that evening to celebrate the news. Tao embraced his brother upon hearing the news while Joonmyeon, however, simply congratulates the couple with a big smile. But inside, Joonmyeon is insanely envious.

 

It only went worse when Do Jungkook was born in this world, with Lu Han pouring all his attention on his grandchild. Joonmyeon is happy. He really is. But all he really wanted is Lu Han’s acceptance. He wants Lu Han to treat him equally like the way he would to Jongin.

 

It was then that Joonmyeon concluded that his wishes would all be possible if he also show Lu Han that he too can give him and Minseok a grandchild.

 

“H-Honey, w-what are you--?” Tao whispers a breathy moan when he felt Joonmyeon nips his weak spot just below his jaw, his body turning jelly at the light touches of his husband. “—oh shit.”

 

Joonmyeon wants it, and he wants it so bad. He’s already 40, the age that he’s supposed to be raising his children according to his list. So right now, it’s really needed. The list has been in a crazy disarray ever since he fell in love with his husband and Joonmyeon’s determined to follow it again.

 

But things turn out to be the exact opposite of what Joonmyeon is hoping.

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kim.” The doctor gave his shoulder a light pat. “I’m really sorry.”

 

He wasn’t expecting a miscarriage.

 

“It’s not on the list.” He mumbles, body rocking back and forth as he buries his face in his arms. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He continues to say until tears flow down his cheeks. “It’s not...” He hiccups, wiping his face with his arms. “I can’t…” And Tao hushes him, planting kisses all over his tear-stricken face.

 

Joonmyeon finds it hard to accept the fact that his supposed first born child is gone. He’s always in a daze, looking straight ahead and his eyes were hollow. He eats less. Actually, he doesn’t have the appetite to. He only does because Tao forces him to eat. Joonmyeon was like a lifeless person as if his soul just left his body.

 

“Stop acting like a baby and eat, Joonmyeon.” Lu Han sternly told him after placing the food on the table. It was a surprise that his in-law visited him at their house. He never did come and if he did, Minseok was always there with him. But today, it was just him and Lu Han, all alone in the house.

  
Joonmyeon simply stares blankly at the bowl of juk in front of him.

 

Lu Han sighs and slams his hands on the table startling Joonmyeon. “Look here, you. You’re not the only one sad about what happened.” Joonmyeon slowly trails his sight up the elder male. “Bad things happen in life and no matter how hard you want to change it, you can’t. Is my dead grandchild gonna live if you sulk there and go depressed and shit?! No! That’s why you suck it up and move forward.” He snaps. “You make people worry.”

 

Joonmyeon’s stare at the elder became hard, his jaw clenching in fury. He was ready to blow up his anger at Lu Han. He wanted to shout and scream at his face for not even being sensitive to his feelings. I mean, fuck this shit! He’s had enough of all the bull shit and the glaring and the—

 

“You need to let go of good things to make way for better things, Joonmyeon. Remember that.” Lu Han said. Upon hearing that, Joonmyeon’s eyes soften and then it became glassy, and before he knows it, tears began to spill down. And for a moment, he thought he saw Lu Han smile at him before engulfing him in a comforting hug, whispering to let it all out.

 

Right. He forgot. And if it weren’t for Lu Han reminding him that, he wouldn’t be able to move on. If it weren’t for Lu Han reminding him that, he wouldn’t be able to gain the courage to tell Tao to try again.

 

So here he is now, sitting on the couch at the Do’s residence with a notepad and a pencil at hand as he listens attentively to what a pregnant Baekhyun is babbling about his experience with pregnancy and kids.

 

“You see, Joonmyeonnie. Being pregnant is a blessing, not only because we’re about to give life, but also because we gained the upper hand in the household.” Baekhyun winks, a hand caressing his large stomach. He then cranes his head and yells. “Kyungie, I’m thirsty!” And just in 5 seconds, Kyungsoo came running down to his husband with a glass filled with water. “Why is it cold?! Do you want your child and me to freeze to death, Kyungsoo?!”

 

“Oh god, so sorry, baby.” Kyungsoo mumbles and runs back at the kitchen. The moment he did, Baekhyun wiggles his brows at a gaping Joonmyeon, who immediately wrote something on his little notepad.

 

“Aigoo.” Lu Han sighs and shakes his head in disapproval at a smirking Baekhyun, who flashes a loving smile at a panting Kyungsoo just as he appeared again with a lukewarm glass of water for his husband to drink.

 

Upon watching the scene unfold, he momentarily looks down at his list and stuffs it inside his back pocket. Life is full of never-ending surprises. Even if you plan what happens in the future, it will always change and change because that’s how life works whether you like it or not. And as he shifts his gaze at Tao as he helps Jongin and Minseok make barbecue at the Do’s backyard, he smiles.

 

Screw the list. He’s gonna start living life just the way it is.

 


	3. Bonus Chapter

Love is blind. Well, that’s what people say when they saw Tao and his husband.

 

It was purely an accident. No intentional harm done with the two of them. In fact, the other person isn’t that aware that he’s in love with him and vice versa. What they are now is purely what fate wishes to happen. Not that they mind, anyway.

 

“Are you still busy with work, Jagi?” His husband asks, head peeking at the half-opened door at Tao’s study. Tao simply nodded, waving a hand after pushing his glasses up his nose before continuing to drum his fingers on his laptop. He heard a sigh and then a chuckle afterwards. “Well, I’ll just call you when dinner’s ready, hmm?” And with that, the door closed, leaving Tao once again in the arms of his work.

 

Tao lets out a heavy sigh and retreats his hands from the warm keyboard of the laptop, letting his back lean against the soft chair on his back, shifting his eyes at the golden band that’s wrapped around his ring finger.

 

He remembers when he’s still a young boy. A very innocent young boy who takes pleasure in running across their big lawn with his arms up high.  His Appa would chase him, imitating a dinosaur and then scoops him in his arms when he get caught. He remembers giggling in delight as his Appa pulls him close and lifts him up high, tossing him a bit and makes this weird funny sounds that never fails to make him laugh. Of course, that’s always short-lived because his little brother would get all pouty for he also wants to climb on top of Appa’s shoulder.

 

But Tao doesn’t mind. Especially after Baba calls them to take a snack just after his Appa settles him down on the ground. He remembers his Baba shouting, “Minseok, put Sehun down! You’ll hurt your back!” But Appa won’t listen, even running around in circles as he holds Sehun’s legs so he won’t fall.

 

Tao would quickly run over his Baba’s side and quietly grabs a cookie, taking a seat close to where his Baba is sitting on the green grass. And even though he’s so sweaty and sticky, his Baba doesn’t complain and wraps an around him, fingers playing with the little strands of his hair.

 

“Why don’t you play with Appa and Hunnie, Taozi?” Baba would ask.

 

And with a quiet voice, he answers, “I like it here with Baba.”

 

Growing up, Tao’s been attached to Lu Han, his Baba that possesses a warm and loving smile that never fails to make him giggle in satisfaction, having felt that warm sensation in his chest. His father is a quiet man, who takes pleasure in just observing and watching, busying himself with the housework and attending to his husband and their kid’s needs. And Tao hates it when he’s being babied, but after Lu Han wiped his chin with his finger, Tao would secretly smile and makes sure to plant a long kiss on his Baba before bed time.

 

Not that he plays favorites, but he openly admits that he admires his Baba more that his Appa. His Appa is cool, yes, but Baba is awesome. He knows his father isn’t a morning person, but seeing him wake up in the middle of the night to sing lullabies for him when he finds it hard to sleep after a nightmare, he can’t help but let his admiration of his Baba heighten even more.

 

“Baba, can you stay with me until I sleep?” A little Tao whispered, face half-covered with his favorite blanket. Lu Han blinks twice and lets out a soft chuckle, sitting back down beside Tao’s lying form and caresses his son’s soft locks until the little boy is sleeping soundly.

 

(Minseok wondered why Lu Han isn’t coming to bed with him, only to flash a warm smile when he entered the twins’ room and finds Lu Han sleeping form beside their elder twin. It took 15 minutes of caution and slow movements to lift Lu Han up the bed and gently carried him towards their shared bedroom, but not before planting a loving kiss on Sehun and Tao’s forehead.)

 

Tao as a kid is a crybaby, always been teased as a Papa’s boy by his classmates (Sehun was also teased, too, but he doesn’t mind because he’s convinced that he’s gonna marry his Appa someday.) So he opted not to cling to his Baba in public, even frowning or pushing the elder carrier away when Lu Han dips down to kiss his sons’ foreheads for good luck at school. Lu Han understands, having found Tao to be at the stage of being conscious around him, because he knows that by the end of the day, Tao will still be his little boy who shyly asks for him to stay until he falls asleep.

 

But then, his Baba’s schedule became really hectic, juggling schoolwork and household chores at the same time (Minseok enrolled Lu Han at some university in China that’s a walking distance near their house to continue the business course he left back at Korea.) Tao finds himself in his Uncle Lay’s house, playing ninja with the elder male like his Appa would during Sundays where he’s got no work. It was fun, especially when his Uncle would mimic that dinosaur at Jurassic Park. But what he looks forward the most, is to spend time with his Uncle Lay’s boyfriend, Joonmyeon.

 

Uncle Joonmyeon acts like what Baba would do to them, always paying extra attention to his needs and asking him if he needed anything else or if he wants something. He’s a caring man, always making Tao smile and giggle and laugh and tell stories about books that he had read during his free time. And Tao would always look at the man in awe, clinging to him while he listens attentively to all the man said.

 

He likes it, Tao thinks. He likes Joonmyeon’s company because he reminded him so much of his Baba.

 

But then things changed when he’s hit 12. Joonmyeon acts weird around him, eyes not meeting his and ears tinge pink. He finds it weird, funny even because he doesn’t even know why Joonmyeon is acting like a squirming worm when he’s clinging to him like he used to back when’s younger.

 

“Hyung, can you read me another story?” Tao asked, face leaning a bit making Joonmyeon blush, eyes blinking rapidly and head backing away.

 

“I-uh…uhmm… uh-yeah…I’ll just—uh…” Joonmyeon gulps hard, quickly standing up. “Wait here.” And after saying that, he dashed towards their Uncle Lay’s study, door slamming hard with a loud thud.

 

Tao was really clueless back then. So, so, so clueless and oblivious at what the elder male is thinking. And it only took the visits to Joonmyeon and Yixing’s apartment to a complete halt and the news of Joonmyeon leaving China that Tao began to think back and reminisce the moments that he had shared with Joonmyeon.

 

It took him 4 years to realize that the longing he felt for the elder male is something different than what he had thought before.

 

It was proven that his thoughts are right one time when he crossed paths with Joonmyeon accidentally at some local library. His Baba’s books are really old, having read them over and over. He knows what will happen, every line and every scene so he opted not to watch the movie adaptation so that his little world of imagination won’t be destroyed. After Lu Han advises his son to go and borrow some new books to read, Tao decided to visit the library. But instead of borrowing books like he first intended, he borrowed some of Joonmyeon’s time instead.

 

At the age of 16, he got attracted with the way Joonmyeon would flash him that same warm smile and hear that same cute giggle back when he’s still a little kid. It was addicting, the sensation he feels every time he’s with the elder so he decided to make it his mission to make the elder smile and laugh in every chance he gets.

 

At the age of 17, his attraction transforms into love without him even knowing himself. It just happened out of the blue, his heart thumping extra loud and body shaking in anticipation. One time when he’s lounging on Joonmyeon’s couch lazily, he can’t help but find how gorgeous Joonmyeon is. So, so, so gorgeous and so breathtaking, every single detail of the elder even if the wrinkles on his face is getting more and more obvious on each passing day.

 

He tried to stop himself, he really did, fearing that the elder would push him away. Good thing Joonmyeon didn’t, even connecting their lips again, mouth parting slightly to let out a sigh of satisfaction as he lets Tao take control of the kiss.

 

“I’m too old for you.” Joonmyeon murmurs against the kiss, letting out a breathy moan when Tao nipped his lower lip. “This is bad. We can’t—“

 

“Do you see me caring?” Tao asks, flashing a smirk when Joonmyeon bit his lower lip. “You look so beautiful, hyung. You don’t look that old, trust me. I know a beauty when I see one.” He whispers before kissing the elder male again.

 

They started dating after that, something that made Tao look forward to every single day. But since this is Tao’s first time being in a relationship, he finds it hard what to act around the elder. It would be really weird if he asked his Appa for advice, after witnessing the man going berserk when Sehun announced that he’s dating someone. Sehun usually spends his time with Jongin so Tao went to his favorite person in the world.

 

“Baba, what did you do when you and Appa went on your first date?”

 

“First date?” Lu Han raises his brows upon hearing that, pausing a bit to think before continuing to chop the carrots on the cutting board. “Nothing special, if you’re wondering. We were dating in secret at that time so we need to keep a low profile so that the others won’t suspect a thing. So in the end, we just went on that beach at the other side of the town.”

 

Tao slowly nodded. “What did you do at the beach?”   
  


“We talked.” Lu Han shrugs, smiling a bit upon recalling the memory. “It’s not always being all touchy-feely and all that exchanging saliva.” He places the knife on the side and carefully slides the pieces of carrots on the pan producing a sizzling sound. “You need to build a strong communication. It’s not just love in a relationship. There’s also friendship, too.”

 

Tao continuously asked for his Baba’s advice, asking what’s the best gift for a birthday and other relationships related stuffs. Lu Han was confused, yet he answered anyway with a happy smile on his face, finally knowing that his son is happily dating someone.

 

_“Flowers are too common.” His Baba said after wearing his reading glasses on, a book on the other. “If you want to make him feel special, improvise. Use your bright imagination, Tao.”_

 

Joonmyeon hums in confusion before giggling in awe upon seeing the picture collage of every photos taken during their dates, forming a “Crazy for you” at the very center. “It’s beautiful.” Joonmyeon smiles, shifting his gaze at the younger male and lets the 100th day gift on the end table before holding his hands out, urging Tao to come to him.

 

“You’re beautiful.” Tao said before engulfing Joonmyeon in a breath taking kiss.

 

The following year, Tao felt that he was ready to tell his parents the identity of his lover and immediately told them that they would meet them a 3 months before left to go attend a prestige law school that his Uncle Kyungsoo once attended.

 

Excited was an understatement on what the younger male was feeling. Because in his mind, not only will his Baba and Appa would agree, but they would also hold a welcome party after meeting an old friend of theirs. Joonmyeon, however, wasn’t that keen on meeting them. But Tao kept insisting that everything will be okay because the past is past. There’s no point in bringing up something that’s already done. Besides, his Baba is an understanding person. He would never do that.

 

Oh, was Tao so wrong at that.

 

Lu Han’s face fell the moment he saw Joonmyeon, eyes going wide from surprise then getting hard from rage. And before Minseok could stop him, Lu Han lashes out at poor Joonmyeon. It was understandable coming from a parent’s eyes that they would react like that when they found out that their kid is in a serious relationship with your best friend’s ex-boyfriend.

 

Joonmyeon has expected it, having prepared this day with a sullen look yet managing to flash a bright and excited smile to Tao. But Tao, however, got the biggest slap of his life. Not literally, but it would have been better if his Baba had slapped him rather than threatening his boyfriend if he didn’t leave the house as soon as possible.

 

“I’m sorry, son.” His Appa had said to him once Joonmyeon went home on the verge of crying. “Please understand your Baba.” He sighs. “I’ll….I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry.”

 

If anyone can make his Baba calm down, it’s his Appa. So just like his Appa had said to him, he managed to talk to Lu Han to keep his shit together and join them in some nice dinner (Sehun bailed because he’s not really fond of taking sides.) Though there was a bit of misunderstanding at first, it ended up with Lu Han acknowledging the relationship, but not accepting it.

 

Tao wasn’t contented at that but Joonmyeon told him it’s okay and that it’s better than nothing at all.

 

He really hates it, the way his Baba would purposely ignore Joonmyeon and treat him like he wasn’t there. Sometimes he would complain to his Appa about his Baba’s behavior, but to no avail, it seems like his Baba would easily change the subject or distract the elder male with a kiss (Minseok is easily distracted.)

 

Tao felt betrayed at the thought of that, having grown up knowing that his Baba is a kind and understanding person. The image that he has for his father were smashed into pieces, burned into flames and stomped to the ground. It was like he’s seeing another version of his Baba, only in the form of an evil step-mother that he reads in fairy tales.

 

But that all changed a week before Tao’s college graduation.

 

He was surprised when his Baba approached him while he was doing the last minute touches for his job application. It was awkward, really, because he kind of drifted away from his Baba. But he was beyond surprise when he suddenly started to tell Tao the story of how Appa and he got by through all the problems that crossed their paths.

 

“Did you know that your Grammy once threatened to castrate me when I was pregnant with you and Sehun?” Tao’s eyes went wide upon hearing that. Wait, what? His Grammy? His gentle and lovable chubby-cheeked Grammy who would never hurt a fly threatened Baba? Lu Han laughed upon seeing his son’s reaction. “But I didn’t care at that time because I know that _Love doesn’t mind_.” He smiled making a few wrinkles show at the corner of his eyes. “Love doesn’t mind even if there’s countless reasons why you can’t be together.”

 

Tao then watches his Baba pull something from his shirt pocket, his brows furrowing in confusion when he saw what it was. “Tao, do you know what this is?”

 

He takes a long look at the silver ring that’s pressed between his Baba’s fingers. “That’s your engagement ring.”

 

“Uh-huh.” Lu Han stares at the silver band, smiling. “Your Appa bought it with his savings after his parents froze all of his bank accounts. It’s not expensive, but it holds great meaning to me.” After saying that, he grabs his son’s hand and gently places the ring on his palm before pushing his fingers to a close.

 

“B-Baba…”

  
“Now it’s your turn.” Lu Han said, his hands wrapped around his Tao’s closed fist. “Remember Tao. No matter what the people around you say or whisper behind you and Joonmyeon’s back, don’t mind them because love doesn’t mind. If you’re happy, then go for it.”

 

Tao gulps hard, eyes brimming with tears. “Baba are you—“

 

“Yes, son.” Lu Han chuckles softly, sliding his hand to caress Tao’s soft locks. “I’m giving you my blessing.”  

 

A week after that, Tao proposed to Joonmyeon in front of his friends and family with one knee bended on the green grass. It was big event that his twin, Sehun, helped him plan to surprise the elder male. It was cheesy, but it made Joonmyeon happy so everything was fine.

 

4 months after the engagement, the two wed in Joonmyeon’s hometown, with his brother being the best man and Jung Yunho as Joonmyeon’s. It was just a simple wedding, having invited only their close friends and family. And after the reception, Tao carried a blushing Joonmyeon in the limo that his Appa rented, going to the airport to spend their honeymoon at Hawaii.

 

(Minseok wrapped his arms around Lu Han that night, nose nuzzling at the crook of the younger male’s neck. “So now that we’re alone after how many years, how about we go and catch up, hmm Lu?”

Lu Han blinks twice at his husband before flushing, face turning crimson.)

 

Tao’s admiration for his Baba grew into a whole new level; secretly smiling when he saw him his Baba getting stern and strict on his husband. Because he knows that even though Lu Han is acting like that, he actually cared and sometimes gets worried about Joonmyeon and his health, telling his son not to let his husband overwork because it’s bad.

 

It didn’t change even when Sehun and Jongin produced a child of their own, Jungkook. Though his Baba’s attention was mostly on his grandchild, he would still keep on telling Tao what to do and gives him a basket of fruits to give to Joonmyeon.

 

“Give this to Joonmyeon.” Lu Han said, pushing the basket on Tao’s arms. “I know you two are trying to make a baby, I can tell.” Upon hearing that, Tao cleared his throat awkwardly. “Listen. You need to take extra good care to Joonmyeon. He’s at the age where most carriers are hard to get pregnant. I don’t want anything to happen to my future grandchild.”

 

And so, Tao did what he was told, taking care of Joonmyeon like he’s a fragile thing. It was really amazing thinking back what they were back when they first met. Back then, it was Joonmyeon who’s lifting him, asking him if he wants something and giving him a big hug when he’s feeling sad or lonely. Now, it was the other way around. It was him lifting Joonmyeon even if the elder doesn’t like to be lifted, blushing profusely at the gesture. It was him asking if he wants something. And it was him who’s giving the elder male a big hug, his strong arms wrapped around Joonmyeon like he’s never gonna let go.

 

“You like that?” Tao grunts, his hand on the back of Joonmyeon’s knee while the other is settled on Joonmyeon’s right thigh. He lets out a pleasured sigh when he quickens his pace, placing the elder’s leg on his shoulder to let his other hand explore Joonmyeon’s pale chest that’s glistening with sweat. Joonmyeon flashes him a loving smile as a response before clamping his eyes shut, mouth parted slightly to let out soft breathy moans.

 

The news of their first child coming got their lips twitching into wide smiles.  But sadly, that news only lasted for a short time because of Joonmyeon suffering a miscarriage. It was unexpected. They were just sleeping peacefully when suddenly, Tao wakes up with a jolt by a sobbing Joonmyeon. And to his horror, he saw a pool of blood staining their sheets after turning on the lamp.

 

Joonmyeon fell into some sort of depression after that, always locking himself up the room. He wouldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep. It’s even a miracle that the elder is taking a bath, having no strength in him to get up the bed. And sometimes Tao would catch Joonmyeon silently weeping at the open window of their bedroom, letting the night breeze pass by his tear-stricken face.

 

Because of this, Tao sometimes spends some of his time at his parents’ house, crying because he too is saddened about his child’s death, only to double over after seeing Joonmyeon’s depressed state. He feels emotionally and physically exhausted, confused on what to do. He’s lost at the sea of unfortunate events that always comes in their way that he began to question if he can do this. He can if Joonmyeon’s there with him, but alone?

 

“I’ll talk to him.” Lu Han said, patting his son’s head. “Minseok can you…?”

 

“Yeah.” Minseok nods with a smile. “I’ll watch over Tao.” And as soon as his husband left, he then approached a sobbing Tao, hushing him like he would back when he’s still a kid, having bruised his knee from running around the backyard. “Hey.” He whispers. “Everything’s gonna be fine, okay?”

 

And it seems like his Appa was right, surprised when he found Joonmyeon greeting him with a smile that night when he went home. It was a big change upon seeing his husband back up again, waving his spatula and his favorite red apron wrapped around his waist. The sight made him smile.

 

“Tao, I’m sorry.” Joonmyeon said, pulling him in a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry for making you worry. So sorry. Won’t happen again, I promise.”

 

The issue of having a child together is long buried with Tao telling himself that he doesn’t care if Joonmyeon doesn’t want to try again. It’s okay, he thought. As long as Joonmyeon’s with him, then everything’s fine. Everything’s gonna be okay.

 

But then, the Do’s just have to drop another bomb.

 

 “I’m pregnant!” Baekhyun not so loudly announced at the Kim residence, arms up high and grin so wide it might possibly blind a person. Some people gapes in shock (see Minseok and Jongin), some squeal in delight (Sehun) while others simply treated the news like they’d expected it (see Luhan, Joonmyeon and Taehyung.) The husband, Kyungsoo, simply stood there, face red as a beet after witnessing the reactions. Even after all these years, the guy still isn’t fond of attention being directed at him.

 

“You’re pregnant, again?” Jongin sputters, eyes wide, nearly dropping. “Why—when—how is it possible at such an old age?!”

 

And Baekhyun smirks, shifting his stare at the blushing Kyungsoo beside Minseok before gushing. “Oh my god, I’m so happy! Aren’t you guys happy, too?! I mean, we’re gonna have another child. Again!” Taehyung was the one who wraps his father in a tight embrace (he’s a Papa’s boy) and kisses the pregnant male’s forehead, whispering an “ _I’m so happy, Papa_.” Even though Jongin’s frowning, there’s this sparkle in his eyes that yes, he too is swelling in joy upon finding out he’s gonna have another sibling. 

 

(“It’s still possible.” Minseok whispers on Lu Han’s ear, arms encircled around the younger’s waist when they’re alone at the kitchen, preparing snacks. “Baekhyun and Kyungsoo can, maybe for us it’s still possible, hmm?” Lu Han could only blush, trying to hide his embarrassment as he tries to focus on the food in front of him.)

 

The whole time, Tao was quiet. His eyes shifted at his brother’s father-in-law that was pregnant at the middle of his forties. Being pregnant at that age is hard, right? But for Baekhyun to get pregnant at that age, Tao began to think, smiling after a few seconds before shifting his stare at a smiling Joonmyeon, who’s congratulating Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. There’s still a chance. It can still work.

 

And just as Tao had expected, his husband pulled him in a hug, face buried against the younger’s chest. “I want to try again, Tao.” Joonmyeon said a few moments later. Tao sighs, threading his fingers on the elder’s raven locks.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah.” Joonmyeon smiles, pulling a bit to look up at him with a soft smile that made his heart skip a beat. “I’m ready.” Upon hearing that, Tao softly chuckles and pulls him in a long and chaste kiss, kissing once, twice before it became a heated one.

 

It really is hard, the struggles and the rocky path that the both of them had crossed. But it was worth it. Really, really worth it.

 

“Jagi, it’s time for dinner.” Joonmyeon knocks twice before entering the door, full swollen stomach in view making Tao smile after snapping back to reality. He slowly takes his glasses off and chuckles, watching as his husband maneuver his way towards him, slightly wobbling. “God, my back is killing me.” He mutters.

 

“My husband,” Tao smirks, pushing the chair before reaching the elder’s arms and pulling him until their knees brush against each other. “So, so, so sexy.”

 

Joonmyeon scoffs a laugh, playfully rolling his eyes yet he turns his wrist to lace fingers with the younger male. “I find your statement contradicting to my current situation now, Kim Zitao.”

 

“I’m a lawyer.” Tao chuckles, standing up and gives his husband a quick kiss on the mouth, doing it again as he trails his hand on Joonmyeon’s stomach. “And lawyers don’t lie.” He stood up and presses a kiss on the corner of the elder’s mouth, grinning widely at the pink hue spreading on Joonmyeon’s cheeks. “Especially not this lawyer.” He hums in amusement as he watches his husband squirm in embarrassment.  “So sexy.”

 

Love is really blind, Tao concludes. Why? First of all, how can you define blindness? It’s lack of sight, right? But in love, eyes aren’t really used in looking or knowing if the person is the one for you. You let your heart see for you, to let them feel for you if you want this person to be with you forever even if the person is fat, physically and mentally disabled, downright ugly and older than you by so many years and so on. Because even if it’s frowned upon by many, you don’t care because this is what makes you happy.

 

“I love you.” Joonmyeon whispers, face pressed against Tao’s clothed chest so his words were a bit muffled. Tao still heard it just fine.

 

“And I, you.” He responds, thumb caressing on their unborn child. “So much.”

 

So their love is being frowned upon by others, so what? Love doesn’t mind anyway.

 

 


End file.
